Haiku

I love haikus, but I couldnt include all of them in my portfolio, so here is my collection of haikus.

Poetic License

Poetic license
Say what you want, how you want
America sucks

Stating the facts

haikus are funny
haikus are beautiful
Haikus are not long  

Almost a Haiku

It can be very hard
to follow a stiff structure.
Pah, poetic license

Haikus of Language

I do not know French;
the language eludes my tongue.
Je ne comprend pas.

German I prefer:
Ich habe Deustche Familie,
but I’m shy to speak

Through pen I can speak
without fears knotting my tongue

in any language.

You Learn Something New Everyday

Actually I've learned a few things today but they are not as happy or cool (Bombing in Morocco, Pope Jean Paul II beatification, Royal Wedding, Tornado devastation in Tuscaloosa, etc.)

What is cool is the commonly used --especially by the texting generation --punctuation that has long gone without being formally addressed by it's proper name.

"What?!", you might say "I have been living my live with ignorance to a punctuation mark?! Has my education failed me?!"

If you haven't guessed the punctuation mark is the Interrobang: commonly written as ?!/!? but is actually the two marks written on top of each other as shown



It's not really a surprise that this mark has gone un-named when you look at how the texting-generation is simultaneously the most informed and the most ignorant generation and that this kind of information is slightly pointless but also part of the foundations of writing; but then again the generation doesn't really appreciate the foundations of learning and would much rather learn to pirouette with a 5 min instructional video than learn the second foot position.

Right Wing Ogre

http://www.ottawacitizen.com/news/decision-canada/Opinion+Vote+mentality/4658160/story.html

Everyone has a right to their opinion --for now --but what kind of skewed world do you live in when you think that encouraging youth to vote in an engaging, entertaining, and dramatic way is foolish? The political parties of Canada, Conservative especially, do need to realize that youth issues, the youth opinion, the youth vote are important. I feel like the youth are at least as informed as any other voter -- we do spend quite a few hours in school honing our research skills --but it does make it difficult to make an informed decision when you are kicked out of rallies, or not even worth a visit. The youth vote should be a target of political importance, it's not as if you turn 25 and are suddenly "informed"

Short opinion: there is nothing wrong with vote mobs

Your Highness, to put it bluntly, is a burn out

Romance, adventure, magic, breasts, and a top billed cast including Academy Award winner Natalie Portman – Your Highness has all the ingredients for a box office hit. However it was disappointingly un-epic. It's as if whenever the writing got deep or tough they would cut to a new scene with some plot-based comedy going on. Most notably in the labyrinth when Thadeous is facing the spirit of the Labyrinth in a test of a true hero – cut to Courtney being molested by a Minotaur. I don't know if it was just written this way or if it was cut to fit a time requirement but if we've learned anything from Lord of the Rings it's that people can sit though the amount of time required to tell these kinds of stories. I'm not saying Your Highness should be told in nine hours but considering the movie is only 102 minutes it could have used an extra 15-30 minutes of character development. The bad guy was not bad enough, the betrayal wasn't deep enough, and the triumph wasn't triumphant enough.

            However the set design and costumes flawlessly captured the medieval qualities of the story while also appropriately incorporating anachronism such as a mechanical bird or metal hand. The female costumes were appropriately inappropriate, and the men were adequately decked out in armor, tights, and tokens of love and heroism. However the way Fabious was contained during his torture just confused me. I wasn't sure what they were going for with the sort of hammock like restraints.

            The film was laced with overtly flashy magical effects, including lightning; appearing and disappearing, energy balls, and more. In today’s 3D age the special effects are up to par- nothing really innovative. Most of the film can be described that way – nothing innovative. The film alluded to so many other aspects of popular culture: The Legend of Zelda, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Alice in Wonderland, Labyrinth, Glam Rock, The Huns, and Greek Mythology.  I was left wondering if that is what the writers were going for or if they were just lazy. Your highness will determine if you like this film, but the theatrical release of this film is lacking, it's not Lord of the Rings and it's not Pineapple Express. However I can see an extended edition, a director cut, or deleted scenes making this film what it should have been.   

Come on Canada! Wtf.

After the Federal Debate, Virgin Radio posted this 60 second summary, literally minutes after the debate.
http://vancouver.virginradio.ca/Blog/Kiah/BlogEntry.aspx?BlogEntryID=10226138

I feel like this is not the time humour, too many Canadians are not taking this seriously enough.

I think that the Canadian Federal Leader's debate is a very serious matter and taking it out of context and presenting to the public in this way sends the wrong message. Canada is seriously uninformed due to the secrecy of the Harper Government and their persistent use of out of context quotes in attack ads. If you could truly give a summary of the debate in 60 seconds it would be very beneficial for the Canadian public, this just mocks the issues. Democracy in Canada has been  wounded by the Harper Government and this is a slap in the face to every Canadian.

I hate my job.

What are the temperature and humidity standards for workplaces in Canada?

There are many factors directly related to different kinds of jobs, such as the physical demands of your job or working outside. There is no single value for a maximum temperature or humidity at your work place. There are, however, standards provided by the  Canadian Standard Association (CSA)

• Summer conditions (light clothing) - if the relative humidity is 30%, then the acceptable temperature is 24.5-28°C.
• Summer conditions (light clothing) - if the relative humidity is 60%, then the acceptable temperature range is 23-25.5°C
• Winter conditions (warm clothing) - if the relative humidity is 30%, then the acceptable temperature range is 20.5-25.5°C
• Winter conditions (warm clothing) - if the relative humidity is 60%, then the acceptable temperature range is 20-24°

http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/ewh-semt/occup-travail/work-travail/faq-eng.php#a

My workplace is set to 80 degrees Fahrenheit, that is 27 degrees Celsius. It is hot, and I have turned it down, but they have told me to stop this because their hydro bill is 1000$ a month. If they tried to do my job in 80 degree weather they would faint. Last summer I remember temperatures ranging from 86-89 degrees, that is 30+ degrees. 

And this isn't the only shit they pull. From the beginning of 2011 until mid February they were taking 5$ off of my and co-workers pay. The deposit to my bank account and the pay stub they gave me for my hours did not match. I went to them and was like: 

"wtf mate, mine and some people's pays don't match our stubs?" 

and they gave me the difference but they never went to the other workers. I was out 30$ at the time, times that by the 20+ workers at this location and possibly their other businesses and you get 600$. Where is the other 570$??  

I have gone to the others and even the ones who bothered to check this out did not really seem to care. It's just five dollars right? Um, no it's your 5$ every pay check. We are generally part-time, student, minimum wage workers. If they take even a penny off of your pay you are working for less than minimum wage and that is a crime. 

I emailed the government about this, and I do admit I probably emailed the wrong people because I could not find any single place that seemed like the proper jurisdictional, but I never heard back.

Omg and when I switch or change shifts they treat me like it is a big deal. I have never left them without someone to work. There was one problem week in January where I needed 3 days off in a row for a) an important exam (I left myself available to work for less important exams) b) my fathers birthday c) my anniversary. They outright told me they did not care about the anniversary, and I feel that it because I am a student, and was 17 at the time. Would it be any different if I was 35 and married? To me it felt like an insult, it was very disrespectful of my life. I thought about leaving last November but I figured since I had been working their for over a year I would get more respect, flexibility and seniority than at another job. 

The last time I asked to trade shifts he says to me that "if I cannot handle the workload I will be getting less hours". As a side note I asked for less hours. So I am thinking: 

"Great, I can finally get the hours that I have been asking for since September, because it would really make my life a lot easier with me trying to balance a full course load, scholarship deadlines, a long distance relationship, family life, and friends" 

(from September to November my hours were almost at par with the hours I had been getting in the Summer. I look back on an essay I wrote during this time where I called George Bernard Shaw, Robert. Wtf. I was obviously out of it)

This makes me wonder what the difference is between niceties and necessities in the work place. For instance; do they have to provide free drinking water? If so does tap water count? If tap water counts do they need to provide cups? - cause they don't. 

Or maybe; Can an employer chose which holidays they will you pay for? (they have to pay for 9, the Ontario ministry of labour says that family day will be the 9th. My work says no, the civic holiday will be the 9th, I dont know If I will be working there come the civic holiday and a new employer could have chosen family day, seeing as I worked family day, I am out my holiday pay)

the list goes on. 

It appears I am becoming as much a pain to them as they are to me. They take advantage of the naivete of their workers, and their dependency on their wages. I just want to work at place that understands the need for flexibility that students require, and you know maybe follow the law. 

The Weather Hindcast

I guess this really isn't that useful, but I was just wondering what the weather was yesterday? I figured you can just Google it, right? Wrong. Weather sites stay current, updating hourly. I just wanted the temperature from yesterday. The closest I got was a feature that let you see the last 24 hours of hourly updates, but what if I wanted the information from weeks ago? (I just tried that and was able to find the information on a blog not from a "legit" weather information site).

I really feel like this information exists, I thought the weather people kept all their information in some huge data base and like calculated the probability of future weather based on past trends. Maybe once the day is over weather information becomes top secret.

Recycling

Everybody loves the idea of saving the planet, especially by doing something as simple as recycling. It takes just one second of thought and you get a good feeling. The problem is a lot of people don't know how to recycle. I work at a fast food shop and the bag for recycling is more often than not just put in the trash, because most of what people are putting in the bin is trash. It is a hard truth to learn but most employees are not going to sort through the recycling, and even at the plant a lot of should be recyclables are thrown out because people do not know how to properly recycle. 

Here is a list some things that are NOT recyclable. 

1. Food. This sounds obvious, but apparently it isn't. Half full plastic bottles are not recyclable. Pizza crusts are not recyclable. Food is not recyclable. 

2. Straws. Drinking straws are not recyclable. Bottles and cartons with drinking straws in them are not recyclable. 

3. Bottle lids. The lids are not recyclable, any plastic you cannot push you finger through is not recyclable, and bottles with lids on them are not recyclable. 

4. Pizza boxes. These are sort of recyclable, when you can it is better to put them in the green bin. 

5. Coffee cups. Depends on the materials and the policy of the area, in Hamilton: no. However Tim Hortons cups can be put in the green bin. WITHOUT the lid. 

6. Milk cartons and juice boxes. Mixed paper products are not recyclable. 

7. Stickers. You did a great job on your test, but if you recycle it you are doing a poor job for the environment.

The Harper Government

Recently Prime Minister Harper has changed Canada's signature from "The Government
of Canada" to "The Harper Government".
WTF. It sounds like a joke. I really am expecting the yes men to pop up at the end of these annoucements. Liberal MP Dominic LeBlanc made a comment that "You'd expect this kind of directive to be issued by the ministry of information in North Korea" I feel like Harper is doing this kind of stuff to piss people off. Who thought that was a good idea? Really.

I have not really being paying to much attention to the Canadian Government in the past. However, I recently turned 18, and can legally vote. So I decided to start paying attention, and omg I am appalled. What was with Bev Oda's "not". You cannot do that. You dont just pen in the word not and then sign it. I know, I've tried it on True/False tests. Like holy crap, I have listened to Rick Mercer say that our government needs to be constantly supervised, and now I am realizing our government needs to be constantly supervised.

We need national votes on the issues because our government isn't pulling their weight. Every governement debate should be televised, and you should be able to text or call in your vote. It works for So You Think You Can Dance, and it will work for Canada.

Words that look like their Meaning

I have been fascinated by the idea of words that look like their meaning for around a year. Pretty much every time I write one I think about it. I've googled the idea a few times only to come up fruitless. On my last search however I found a blog entry by Carl Morris: http://quixoticquisling.com/2009/05/english-words-which-look-like-their-meaning/ his idea does not exactly match mine but he has started a decent list of words that look like their meaning. Also one of the comments has a decent name: onomableva, coming from the greek words "name" and "to resemble".

If you don't know what i am talking about the best example is the word: bed. Which looks like a classic bed that has tall post on either side.

Carl says that the words must be nouns. Which is a complete lie because the first one I ever noticed was: awkward. I would say awkward is an awkward looking word. Look at the wkw, where else do you see a wkw? And you have the k sitting in the middle of a bunch of short letters like some fifth grader who hit puberty early and is clumsily trying to fit in but everyone around him is a w and he just stands their awkwardly.

The main issue with these words is that you pretty much have to make an argument for each word. You can't just be like "fast is onomableva"* and be done with it in the same way buzz is obviously onomatopoeia. So we would have to create a committee that would vote on each word up for onomableva, and then create a dictionary of these words. It would probably end up as a side quirk to English in the same way there are hundreds of funky math things that nobody knows or cares about. Like Happy Numbers. 7 is a happy number because if you add the squares of it's digits, and repeat the process you will eventually reach 1 where it loops endlessly. What is the point of that? It's cool to math nerds, and thats basically it. Onomableva is an English nerd thing and that is it's purpose.

*fast is onomableva because it is a short word and takes practically no time to say.

examples of onomableva according me and Carl (I am not including the ones that I did not agree with):
awkward - wkw
fast - quick word to say
I - looks like a person standing. especially the lowercase i
bed- looks like a bed
four - has four letters
abbr. - it's an abbreviation for abbreviation
committee - bit of a stretch but, there are typically three people in charge such as the Chair person the     treasurer and the secretary and then there is just members,. C is the chair, stands at the front, O is the treasurer, because coins are round, and I is the secretary because they sit between the other members and write down the goings-on, and "mmttee" are the rest of the faceless crowd that makes up the group.

There would also be an argument for words that look like the opposite of what they mean.
like "abbreviation" it's twelve letters long. That is not abbreviated at all. We can call these words unomableva or nonomableva. or the ironic Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia  meaning fear of long words. Or how about long, that's 4 letters.

If anybody comes up with more onomableva's  please leave them in the comments and we can commence the committee of  onomableva.

Bloggers Code Of Ethics

I found this on blog I recently started to visit, it's a baking blog because I love them,  It's called Confessions of a Cookbook Queen (also check out I Am Baker, LOVE) anyway, as a blog for a writers craft class, I figured what better way to start it off by learning a code of ethics for polite blogging http://www.confessionsofacookbookqueen.com/2010/11/bloggers-code-of-ethics.html

I found it completely brilliant, my favourite line was to "leave a comment", which may be why this post has 97 comments. I would really like to follow this but as I adventure into the world of bloggers I have no problem following a blog I find cool, or funny, but when I read the comments and it's all obviously close friends I feel a little awkward... For some reason I am also terrified that the person who is writing the blog is dead now.

(feel free to check out my own baking blog http://kitchenventures.blogspot.com/)

The Red Pump Project

       I could not figure out how to add a text widget to the page, but I felt like I should support this anyway. If I figure it out, or someone helps me you will be seeing this in the side bar, but until then just be aware of this as well as a few other events coming up in March (Woman's History Month) such as International Women's Day and "The Totally Awesome Womens Breakfast" which is being run by the YWCA in collaboration with Westdale's Gender Equity club. If you are interested in helping out we meet in room 211 on Fridays.

The Flavour Green

I'm afraid of the flavour green
I never know what to expect
Is it lime?
Could be apple?
Spearmint? Pear? or Watermelon?

I love lime
But my fear of spearmint
Forbids me
It Traps me
It rules my life.
The Flavour Green

Moments Prior

Last Minute Haiku

Forgot to Write it Before

Wish I had More Time